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Because only fools never change their minds

16
By admin in : Dodoism, Narcissism // Oct 28 2010

There I was, sat thinking that if I acted like a total smug and ignorant scalawag about the whole thing and pretend I didn’t care, people would generally get the idea that I wasn’t bothered much and would leave me and my blog alone, which was pretty much the intention I had when I started writing. I also love to believe that ALMOST worked. Almost. But not quite.

Because then there was the hacker.
There really isn’t much point in being Captain Obvious to the rescue here, nor being a hypocrite about making mistakes but I’ll do it anyway. Hacking a blog is Bad. Bad with capital B.
I copied or recycled parts of content, but there was a reason behind the madness. Firstly because quickly drag-and-dropping some content in a text file was a good solid base for a structure, a skeleton of what I wanted to cover in my own guide. It got published by accident, yes well shit happens and I learned from it that I will just write my drafts in a notepad instead of an online editor. But more importantly: I didn’t maliciously copy your content to destroy your effort or ruin the hard work you put in writing those fabulous guides. If I copied your work, it’s because I reckoned it was THAT damn good I wanted to use it as a guideline for my own. If anything at all, after appropriate apologizing (which I will give a try later *gulp*), you could try to be extremely flattered instead of extremely bitten in the arse.

About the paraphrasing in previously cached content…
Truth is, and I will most likely regret it for saying it in public at some point, that I greatly lack self-confidence when it comes to writing in English. I write all my posts in Dutch before I try to come up with an appropriate English translation. Fact is, my puns and points never really get across as well as they do in Dutch or French. And then you read the most amazing catchphrases, and you think “yes! yes that is exactly it!”… and you never think people could get so offended they would start a rage-funnelled hate campaign against your little persona. Well in that case you underestimated the power of a close community. I know I did.

In fact, I did worse. I offered an apology (a genuine one for the record), then immediately lost my temper when I saw my mistakes spread out on the internet like peanut butter on a slice of fresh bread and added some fuel on the fire by writing a post about how you could all go get fucked. I still think Keeva’s slaughtering was completely unnecessary and uncalled for, as I would have done everything in my power to set straight what I had messed up in the first place. I would have, without delay, made the adjustments to my guide but I was way too much in one’s cups to act in a mature way. Nobody likes a broken record and nobody appreciates people trying to make a point that had already been made before, over and over. But I hope most people can find it in their hearts to admit both parties in this debacle weren’t really thinking nor acting in a level-headed fashion. Being angry, and all of that jazz.

Anyway…
Can you guys honestly say you approve of this hacker’s behaviour in an attempt to ruin everything I singlehandedly worked towards the past few days? Because I don’t know if you noticed but I have updated my bio and my contact page with what I truly believe to be me and mine alone (hey I get easily influenced by other people’s awesomeness but I DO have a mind of my own, after all). I have worked on a guide that is completely my own sweat, spit and blood. I know that none of you are in the mood to throw around a compliment but I have spent a lot of time and quality control on the parts already written in the guide. Yet again it was supposed to remain private until it was more or less finished, but that hacker decided to repeatedly remove my password protection, so I just left it there. And it gives you the opportunity to see for yourself I wasn’t 120% plagiarising behind closed doors.

I have had quite a lot of reaction and mailed around quite a bit. Most people didn’t at all agree with my way of handling things but they all pretty much agreed that if I wanted to regain my credibility as a writer and regain control of the situation, I had to “show them”! Well it’s what I was trying to do with the new guide and I should have done that in the first place anyway. I should have found the balls to stand up for my own opinion, whether that included perfect English grammar or not.

There was a certain person who commented with a phrase I think sums it up pretty accurately. “Repentant asshole is repentant”. I don’t credit you in person because I wouldn’t even remember your name if my life depended on it lol, sorry. Fact remains that being an utter tit doesn’t make you a bad restoration druid. If my guild sticked by my side despite your joint efforts to reveal “the true me”, it’s because they know it’s not who, or rather “what” I am like. And because I am a good WoW player with an outspoken opinion about healing.

But let’s face it. I’m all bitched out. I’m tired, I have had a grand total of 7 hours of sleep in the past 72 hours. It’s not because I don’t publically react to all the twittering and all the gossip being mailed around, that I am not aware of what is being said. It would be even more foolish to think that I am not affected by it. I can also assure you that I have had a lot more issues in real life than I would wish upon any one of you. Giving out a private email address to anyone who felt like flaming me has inflicted me quite a lot of grief on personal level.

Let’s try to get this straightened out from my side.
Keeva, especially you, dear Keeva… I have read your blog for so long I can’t even remember the day I didn’t log on my computer in the morning having breakfast and reading your musings while enjoying my first cup of coffee of the day. I have always, and I still do now despite of the shitstorm, considered you a fabulous writer and person, the grand central of all druid knowledge. The effort you have put in your research against me is sensational and I wish I had half of your determination. I am convinced there were a couple of alternatives that would have been better for sorting out our differences, but it doesn’t mean I am not sorry for writing the things I have said. Much of it was bullox anyway because I think you’re fantastic. I always secretly dreamed of a spot in your blog roll lol. And right now I am determined to, at one point in my blogging career, make such an impression on you to deserve a positive post on your front page, rather than the series of destructive ones I deserved.  Well, I dearly apologize for all the grief I have caused you the past week.

Lisanna, Sydera, Matt and every other writer I intentionally and/or accidently copied or paraphrased from, I think you all deserve a public apology as well. I can’t promise I won’t be influenced by all your stunning blogs, but I promise if I can’t help but thinking you covered a subject oh-so-perfectly, I will add a nice credit right under the borrowed content.

I know it’s not going to solve all the issues at hand, because some random reactions were so out of line that it wouldn’t matter if I dropped on my naked knees publically or not, those people would still think I deserve to be crucified. But to all of you writers and readers who do appreciate a good read, I still have a lot to prove and I have every intention of showing it off, in due time.
I know I’ve made a couple of mistakes the size of a small Himalaya, but I learn from my mistakes and I insist on outsmarting Einstein at the end of my lifetime.

Now if you want to give that hacker a cookie, I’ll make sure to offer him the milk. If anything good came from all of his privacy violating actions, it must be the fact I have removed all the hurtful content of the past days and started anew. Completely anew. If I have left everything public and unprotected, it’s because I am now standing straight in my shoes and I don’t feel like there is anything on my blog anymore I should be ashamed of. Well if you can’t grant forgiveness for my foolishness, you can at least sit back and smile, I did entertain you for a brief while. ^.^

Last but not least, I know there are a lot of issues left undiscussed and if you have the need to talk to me about it, and you can do it in a mature way, you can feel free to email me and I promise I will try and do my best to reply to all of you as fast and as good as I can.

About the Author

admin has written 65 articles for Me and My Epic Wood.

16 Responses to "Because only fools never change their minds"

  1. Keeva October 28, 2010 4:05 pm Reply

    For the record, I only went into “slaughter” mode when you spat your apology back at us.

    My first blog post didn’t link to you, it didn’t mention names, it was purely a “I find this really surprising, why do people take content without crediting” rant to nobody in particular. I was confident you would write back and say “oops, my bad, I’ll fix.”

    It was only after you gave us the awful apology that I got really mad and felt it necessary to “prove” what you had stolen.

    Contrary to what you may think, I haven’t hacked anything, and I think I gave your email address to 3 people, all of whom were genuine and wanted to contact you in a reasonable way – eg Lissanna. I certainly wasn’t passing it out freely. It was quite easy to find online, so if you had people harass you through email, they may have found you that way.

    The reason I was amused by the hacker was because it seemed to be a mischievous and cheeky hacker, rather than a destructive one. Regardless of everything that has happened, I still wouldn’t want someone to actually destroy your blog. Inconvenience, maybe.

    Your writing is fine, you shouldn’t feel that you have to copy from anyone to make something funny or witty. And if that is your new guide.. why didn’t you do that from the start? It looks fantastic so far. Then this would have been me writing a post on my blog saying “check out this awesome new guide” instead of “wtf, someone is stealing our stuff”.

    I was really disappointed when everything went south because I was so excited to find another druid blog, and one that looked like it would have a lot of potential.

    And despite everything, despite being absolutely furious at some of the things you said, bizarrely, I kept wanting to give you tips on things you could do to improve your blog and get better exposure. I am fighting with myself because I’m still angry, but also because I like helping new bloggers, and despite everything I want to help you with your guide.

    I would like to put it behind us. If this is the end of it then I will un-publish the posts and make a vague reference to your apology as being the end of it, if anyone comes looking for an update. If it’s over and you are turning over a new leaf, then despite still being angry about it, I would feel like a jerk for leaving the posts up as a record of your mistakes. I don’t think I am obliged to remove them, but if you truly are apologetic then it is not something I would want to keep up as it will just make my blog full of ugliness.

    But it’s midnight now and I’m tired, so I will do it later.

    1. Summi October 28, 2010 7:06 pm Reply

      Thank you for commenting on my post, your reaction really means a lot to me.
      I never really pinned you down as a suspect, Keeva, not even slightly as an initiator. I’ve been pointed out some flaws in my privacy control, why my details were easy to find and I am getting it sorted as we speak. If it weren’t MY blog, I would have probably been the first one laughing at that cheeky little bastard but since it’s a violation on MY property, it’s serious business 😉 But I agree that he wasn’t very destructive materially, he just caused a panic attack and made me run laps around the kitchen table screaming “what to do, what to do?” for about an hour. A hacker with a conscience is still a hacker, though. I would be impressed if he contacted me, anonymously for all I care, and pointed out the flaws in my blog security. Then at least this whole shebang would have a positive outcome. It wouldn’t be all that drastic to start over from scratch at this point in time, but if it happens in a couple of months from here with a lot of published content, I would be devastated. And wordpress is completely new to me.

      I would indeed love to consider this the end of it as my apologies were truthful. I know I have caused enough destress for you and the druid community to be deeply insulted and I understand it’s going to take a while and a couple of damn good blogpost to earn back some respect. But I am also blessed with a good portion of determination (people call it stubborness in my case lol). And yes, I would really appreciate you removing that wall of “evidence”, that would be a very kind thing to do. Thank you and goodnight, Keeva.

  2. lissanna October 28, 2010 4:39 pm Reply

    Thank you for your apology.

    For helping you develop the “real” you that your guild loves so much – If your first language is Dutch, and that is what you are the most comfortable with, why not publish your writing in both languages? I’m pretty sure the EU players always like finding guides written in their own language, and it would give you a way to be unique. Then, if the English readers don’t get your jokes, it’s okay, because they aren’t intended for us. (I’m not funny at all, most of the time either).

    If you want a way to be unique and stand out from the crowd, then do it by being 100% yourself – play up on your EU server roots, and show us why your guild likes you so much. Having the confidence to stand on your own two feet is all we’ve ever asked of you, even if the lesson came in not such a pleasant package.

    1. Summi October 28, 2010 7:19 pm Reply

      Hey Lissanna, thank you for replying to my post! Compiling a dutch guide is a splendid idea that I might try out if I find the time for it, but the Dutch gaming community is very small, very cluttered and doesn’t really care all that much for all I know. I have played on Trollbane for a while, in a Dutch guild, and as nice as raiding in my mothertongue might seem, it wasn’t really my cup of tea. There are a few Dutch speaking people in my guild and I get along with them rather well but we don’t exactly “cling” to one another just because we are Dutch, unlike other nationalities. We just blend in.
      However! I have plenty of plans to make this blog unique and caracteristic for the person I am. I draw cartoons, I draw a lot of fan art, I paint, I do 3d modelling, I love lore, I’m a roleplayer and I love reporting on the well and woe’s of my guild. There is plenty of content to integrate, along with the patches and new content of Cata, that will help my blog stand out in originality. But Rome wasn’t built in a day 😉

  3. Moonra October 28, 2010 9:02 pm Reply

    I’m glad this mess is sorted. And I’m glad we’ll get the chance to see a bit more of “you” and a lot less of “others”, the language barrier is nothing to be ashamed of. I’m Dutch myself, I make mistakes when writing English and I will make more in the future but I’m not going to hide behind that fact and try to cover it up by copying stuff from other people.

    I don’t blog to show and share my idea’s with others, I don’t blog to farm internet rep or be famous on my server, I blog because I have a lot of fun doing it. All the other things are nice benefits you get along having fun, but fun should be the main motivation!

    And like Lissanna said, we already have a Keeva, Lissanna, Moonra, Matt etc etc.. But now we need a Summi 🙂 I’m looking forward to see more of your work!

  4. Rhii October 29, 2010 3:12 am Reply

    Hey Sumanhi, I wanted to apologize to you, I said a few things that were probably overly harsh. You don’t have to publish this if you don’t want to, but I wanted to say it, I felt guilty for being so hostile when I wasn’t directly involved.

    I hope you can make this blog an awesome success now that the mess is over with. 🙂

    1. Summi October 29, 2010 8:50 am Reply

      Hey Rhii, thank you 🙂 As you may have noticed, commenting isn’t held for moderation anymore. Everything and anything goes, from now on. Basically because everyone has a right to his/her opinion (You hear that people? Don’t you dare abusing it! :p) and just as it should have been all along. Don’t worry about it too much and certainly don’t feel guilty on my behalf. Sure it was (overly) harsh, sure I had most of it coming but to be honest with you, whatever you said at that time was still considered constructive (to the point) critisism compared to the real shit I got. Random people hurting me on personal level, critisizing the way I look/act in real life, making my friends feel 2 inches tall and doubting my druid skills without even knowing who I am… THAT is what really got to me. And being so immature about it, hiding behind fake names and email addresses left me with no other choice but to disable commenting for a while. That all said, it doesn’t matter just how much you may disagree with a person, a blog is in some way or another supposed to be a semi-anonymous outlet but what critisism is concerned, I’m not afraid of it, I encourage it.

  5. Ish October 29, 2010 4:41 pm Reply

    /Respect

    Takes a lot of guts and balls of steel to publicly admit your mistakes in this manner.

    Great job too on your new in improved guide, its looking awesome.

    Keep it up =)

    /Ish

    1. Summi October 29, 2010 6:47 pm Reply

      Aww thanks Ish, If I found the courage to not throw in the towel and cough up this nasty hairball by doing the only right thing, it’s thanks to people like you who have, one way or another, talked sense into me in a mature way and not by insulting me. Just the kind of people that make this world a little bit more bearable 😉

  6. Naithin October 30, 2010 12:56 am Reply

    Bit late to this particular party, I really had just given up on the whole place til Keeva mentioned it was over and I had to come and look for myself to make sure it was true. 😛

    You have no idea how pleased I am to see this. Not a malicious, ‘Yes, bitch got told!‘ kinda way, but really pleased for you and everyone involved that you were able to put a post like this up.

    I know the next comment I’m going to make serves no useful purpose now, but my restraint only goes so far apparently… So… If you’d just done this in the first place I think a lot of all this could’ve been avoided. 😛

    I understand your reaction though. I don’t agree with it even now, but I do understand it. By the same token, I completely get where Keeva was coming from as well. While not even even being wronged myself, it was a whole bunch of people I consider friends that were, which set me into angry-warpath mode for a while as well, which I guess is the close-community effect you mentioned in the post.

    In any event, here’s to hoping this is the end of it! Time to try put this in the rearview and have you try become part of the community instead of having it against ya, imo!

    Twitter is fantastic for it, it’s where a great number of us find it the easiest to communicate, get in thar! @Naithin, @KeevaTBJ, @Restokin, @Matticus, @Rhiily should get you started, then see who we’re following and go from there. 🙂

    1. Summi October 30, 2010 1:39 am Reply

      Hey Naithin, it is all true, who would have thought I’d reach the point of wisdom lol. Nah, it doesn’t justify anything I have written previously at all, especially not the aggressive ignorant bits but I really completely lost my temper at the worst possible time ever and in the worst possible way as well. You’re right when you say all of this could easily have been avoided but I think we can all agree that the things you know aren’t necessarly the things you act upon when being extremely mad. Alas, shit hit the fan but hey, lesson learned. The hard way, but learned none the less. Indeed, time to move on and focus on more constructive and creative endeavors. There’s lots te be written and a guide to be finished!
      Oeh joining the Twitter bandwagon, serious business! I don’t have a Twitter account yet, but it was on my plan of action for the near future 🙂 To conclude this week of turmoil, I can only appreciate the second chance I’ve been given and thank all of you for having your heads decently screwed on.

  7. Icedragon October 31, 2010 1:39 am Reply

    Congratulations on growing a pair and owning up to what you did. I do think that karma came around to bite you in the rear for being smug (and, ironically, you had mentioned karma in your own copyright quip), though I’m glad your hacker critter isn’t malicious. I wouldn’t wish that on any blogger because they can really be pests.

    As Lissanna mentioned, I think posting in two languages would be a great idea. Not all of the WoW players are fluent in English on the other side of the pond, so you could turn into a great resource for both parties. Besides, no one has perfect grammar on the internet! Especially since our spellcheckers constantly flag WoW-related abbreviations and words, and I think 90% of us have just given up on using them 😛

    Welcome to the fold!

    1. Summi October 31, 2010 2:01 am Reply

      Haha ye you’re right, karma is a bitch :p I do believe tho, honestly, that my karma works in mysterious ways! I have only 1 general rule: I don’t do to people what I wouldn’t like people to do to me. In that respect, I would never deliberately hurt anyone. I will most likely sound rather uptight by writing this, but if someone would have copied parts of what I wrote myself, I wouldn’t actually care all that much. I would just think hey cool, someone actually reads my shit and likes it! ( my friends gave up on my ramblings lol). I would only find it a minor inconvenience if my texts would appear on a politically incorrect blog or a page that I do not approve of. Chances of that happening are slim, since it’s all WoW related.
      About the hacker, lol he’s quite a little pest! But he’s a cool and funny pest that I would rather have around than a malicious one. If it comes to changing my titles once in a while, I will just take it with a smile and get on with it. But if you think about it some more, the things that person could do if he wanted to are rather frightening. I would just /hug, /kiss, /flirt and /promise eternal love if he would contact me in private or anonymously to help me resolve my safety issues. :/ He is clearly not in for the gain, he’s just around because “he can”.

      1. lissanna October 31, 2010 3:32 pm Reply

        I’d just like to say that hacking blogs is bad, and I don’t support it. That’s honestly one of the worst things you can do to a blog – take away the person’s ability to write. Now that you have apologized, and we’ve all made amends, the hacker needs to quit it.

        On typos – my “typo checkers” are my blog readers. When I make a guide page, I also make a blog post page saying “my draft is ready, let me know if you see any mistakes,” and they often do, which I thank them for and then fix. With huge guides that are usually time-sensitive, I just call things “drafts” and then fix things on the go. We’re only human, so they tend to be forgiving of typos.

  8. Rivellana October 31, 2010 4:45 pm Reply

    I just wanted to leave a comment that I’m glad for all the parties involved that this fiasco is finally coming to an end.

    And to Sumanhi, from what I had seen of your blog when the words and content were your own, you seen to be a very intelligent and witty writer and I look forward to seeing it in the future.

  9. Gnomeaggedon November 3, 2010 10:33 am Reply

    Welcome to the club.

    We aren’t nasty folk, just very protective of our own (people, thoughts, writings , everything).

    Great to see the fresh start.

    Good luck

    (At least you know who to contact if you find your stuff floating around the web unauthorised 😉 )

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